Succession in Ruschia II.
⚡️BREAKING: Clare Daly opts for Wanger Chef Saucerer. Mick Wallace going for the safe option: Team Army. Boris Johnson has written a letter of support - for both sides.
⚡️Russians now have to choose between Team Wanger OR Team Army.
None of this would have happened had Wanger taken Bakhmut last July or soon afterwards.
By holding out so long, Ukraine created this dilemma for the Chef Saucerer and for EVERY Russian at every level in the power vertical .
All tensions on every subject between everyone in the Ruschist power vertical will now surface as a choice is made:
Wanger or Army.
No-one will be able to prevaricate or pary or delay that choice any longer.
Water Cooler conversations at every ministry all over Russia will be dominated by this.
Meanwhile, Ukraine has Russia trapped in Ukraine. No prospective leader of Russia can voluntarily leave Crimea. It's like an addiction.
⚡️Russian Civil Servants' New Dilemma.
Average Ruschist civil servants who celebrate genocide in Ukraine because that is the "normal" and conventional thing to do, now face a terrible dilemma.
Is the Chef Saucerer defining what's "normal" and "conventional" now, or is the Chief Sorcerer Putin?
"Can we criticise the fact the Ruschist security forces seem powerless to halt the Russian separatists' occupation of "Bilhorod"?
"Or, do we see the Chef Saucerer as a traitor?
"Can we now critique the military, as the Chef Saucerer's doing, without being imprisoned?"
Water cooler conversations about these matters by these convention-following stability-providing civil servants (and those ahead of them, and below them in the power vertical) can only be avoided for so long.
Tensions wrought by these questions themselves provoke tensions and feed a self-powering destabilising dynamic characteristic of all civil wars.
Whereas two weeks ago everyone in the power vertical could agree that occupying Ukraine was the "right" thing to do. Now, those with power don't know what's "right" because there are now two distinct forces defining what's right: the Chief Sorcerer Putin and now the Chef Saucerer.
Worth noting the Chef Saucerer's Russian Disinfolklore production factories (e.g. Internet Research Agency) have been defining and amplifying what's "Right" (Reich / Proper / Pravyi) in Ruschia (and abroad in Trump/Brexit land too) since 2012.
His Wanger Nazi military guys are the armed wing of a Disinfolklore propagating party which is now openly defying the Ruschist legal order, and the Chief Sorcerer Putin himself.
The Apprentice Chef Saucerer is now ready to succeed his Master the Magister Magi Chief Sorcerer Putin, whose powers are failing in real time.
🍿🥤🍾🍿🍿🍿
⚡️Russians now have to choose between Team Wanger OR Team Army.
None of this would have happened had Wanger taken Bakhmut last July or soon afterwards.
By holding out so long, Ukraine created this dilemma for the Chef Saucerer and for EVERY Russian at every level in the power vertical .
All tensions on every subject between everyone in the Ruschist power vertical will now surface as a choice is made:
Wanger or Army.
No-one will be able to prevaricate or pary or delay that choice any longer.
Water Cooler conversations at every ministry all over Russia will be dominated by this.
Meanwhile, Ukraine has Russia trapped in Ukraine. No prospective leader of Russia can voluntarily leave Crimea. It's like an addiction.
⚡️Putin Surrogates' Dilemma.
Chef Saucerer and his elite Ozero Cooperative oligarch team have won over Limpy Putin Surrogate v.2.43.
Waxy Putin body-double is clearly on Team Army - his appearance at a military parade earlier today indicates this.
Mariupol Putin is undergoing upgrade works at the moment. He's hoping to sleep through the whole process.
"The Real Putin" has agreed to go with the majority view, as long as he doesn't have to go to The Hague.
Now that @P_Kallioniemi Vatnik Soup has come an end, I'm considering introducing all 53 of Putin's current living surrogates.
They're all individuals, even though to the untrained eye they look-a-like.
Dracula Surrogate is my absolute favourite - great sense of humour.
Blanket Putin is on his last legs - honestly this is true. He always sits with a blanket because of problems with his artificial legs...
Holy Putin is, funnily enough, a satanist.
Bookies reckon the surrogates will eventually go for Ozero/Chef Saucerer. Saucerer was always Magi Putin's anointed successor, though none of us realised it. We were listening to the Western Kremlinologists who still don't understand GRU has a whole Disinfolklore Department dedicated to producing trolls for western Russofiles to fall for. Meanwhile, behind the scenes at least since Trump was elected by the Chef Saucerer's Magi Disinfolklore production factories, he's been Magi Putin, the Chief Sorcerer's chosen Apprentice.
There's an outside chance the Chef Saucerer will become a flying saucerer so he's avoiding windows. Though of course the Chef Saucerer too has many body doubles. So it's hard to know which one has launched the civil war.
⚡️A-Z of Russian War on Ukraine
Plan A: War Magic scares president 3e! from Kyiv.
Russian patsies in Ukraine usurp power, sign treaty with Russia.
By 1st March 2022, Russia occupying Ukraine as "invited peacekeepers."
Insurgent war.
Germany and France: business as usual with Russia.
How Plan A turned out: Russian patsies in Ukraine saw after 24 hours Russian military was hopeless and that Ukraine would win.
President 3e! didn't flee: "I need ammo. Not a ride."
Plan B: Kill President 3e! Chef's Wanger Nazi assassins given this plum job. Exploit chaos to impose Russian patsies. Invite Russian peacekeepers in.
Result: Large numbers of Wanger Nazi elite assassins liquidated (RIP).
Plan C: Take Kyiv and region. Hold it hostage until Ukraine govt and state dissolves. Wanger Nazi assassination squads execute kill lists. Bucha, Irpin, etc.
Result: Defeated militarily by 29th March. Russia declares Phase 1 "complete" (🙄). Worldwide disgust from Bucha, Irpin, etc massacres provokes world into arming Ukraine properly.
Plan D: Phase 2 is to occupy all of Luhansk and Donetsk.
Result: Still uncompleted despite loss of 100,000 Ruschist soldiers. Prognosis? No hope Russia will ever occupy Luhansk and Donetsk.
Plan E: Occupy ALL of Southern Ukraine (Mariupol --> Odesa / Bessarabia / Danube).
Result: Azov delayed Wanger and Ruschist Nazis so long in Mariupol, no hope. Lost Kherson in September.
Conquer all of Donetsk (Plan F (by end of March 2022) --->Plan Z (by May 9th, 2023). Bakhmut was selected because it was thought to be "attainable." A victory could be declared.
Mainstreamed through Plan A --> Z is the overarching plan of starving, freezing, coercing Europe into begging Ukraine to accept occupation of their people, land, and State.
Note that Russia assumed EVERY one of these plans would easily work.
As did "Russia Understanders" in ALL governments, think tanks, and among tankies: except in Central Europe.
Wanger Nazi Chef was given the leading role in execution of all these Plans (except Plan E). Chef got a monopoly on all the juicy "easy" victories.
Chef Saucerer given all the resources available to be the victor in Plan A --> Z.
So that, of them, the Chef as Putin's anointed successor, could yield the "authority" in the Russian political system garnered from success in Ukraine.
Prognosis: Chaos in Russia leading to its forces in Ukraine racing home to protect their villages and families from rapacious Wanger Nazis.
What's "Right" in Russia Now Being Defined By Multiple Parties.
"Can we criticise the fact the Ruschist security forces seem powerless to halt the Russian separatists' occupation of "Bilhorod"? "Or, do we see the Chef Saucerer as a traitor? Thanks for reading DecodingTrolls! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Special child stealing kit?! Seriously?